


For Official Use Only

by FoxesDance



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Paperwork, Temper Tantrums, everyone should feel bad for the things Hux has to put up with
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-03
Updated: 2016-02-03
Packaged: 2018-05-18 00:26:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5890948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoxesDance/pseuds/FoxesDance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Form A-001. Official notice of Formal Apology. Supplied by the First Order's Official Bureau of Communication.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For Official Use Only

**Author's Note:**

> I... have never written anything. Ever. Period. This is for serious my first story written in the entire history of mankind. I love this fandom. I love this ship. I am compelled to participate. I am trash. It took me a lot of screwing up my considerably small amount of courage to post anything. It's scary having someone read the words that came out of your brain..
> 
> Not beta'd. All faults are my own. Please c&c.

“What in the galaxy are you doing..?”

She sounded frustrated. Though, honestly, she had no idea what true frustration was.

 _I'm filling out a report. Go away._ His teeth clenched as he scribbled on the page before him.

“Can you fill it out more quietly..? I'm seriously trying to stack rocks while standing on one hand here, and you are not making it easy!”

She was huffing. He could hear it in her thoughts. He couldn't believe Luke was _still_ making padawans do that stupid parlor trick.

 _I didn't think anything at you._ She was doing the opposite of making him feel more calm.

“How is it that even _paperwork_ can make you act like a two year old??”

He could hear her groan inwardly, and felt a spike of anger come from her side of the bond. He smiled to himself as he heard what sounded like rocks falling. It felt like she fell over on her side. At least he wasn't the only one having a miserable day.

 _It's none of your business. Go. Away._ He tried to lock down the link, but she was having none of it.

“What are you filling out..?” Her curiosity was piqued now. She put more effort into the internal communication, and it felt like she was leaning over his shoulder.

“'Official Notice of Formal Apology'..?! Is that seriously a thing? That is not seriously a thing..” she sounded like she was chocking back laughter.

He quickly slapped both hands over the file. He could feel the tips of his ears turn red and grow warm. Why did she have to invade his privacy _now_ of all times??

“Because I live to annoy you..” she murmured without skipping a beat. “Lemme see. I can't believe the First Order is seriously that anal. What did you do..?”

 _Nothing! What makes you think I did anything? How do you know it's not someone else's fault??_ He frowned. Even the girl in his head never took his side.

He heard a snort and he glowered. “I know you, Kylo, that's how I know it's your fault.” He could almost imagine her squinting and leaning closer to the desk to see.

He sighed and lifted his hands. He needed to finish this, anyway, and she was obviously not going to leave any time soon, by the looks of it.

“'It has come to my attention that my action of (destroying shit with my saber)'... great choice there, you're a damned wordsmith, Kylo..” she said with a chuckle, reading from his Form A-001 out loud.

He swallowed a groan. This was difficult enough without her reading it back to him!

She cleared her throat and continued, “..'could be seen as (annoying)'. Annoying? Really? I would have chosen (selfish).” she said, pointing to the multiple choice section. She was smirking. He could hear it in her voice.

Her voice trembled slightly, like she was containing laughter as she read on. “...'I never intended to (make you bitch and whine)'..? Kylo, that's not how you're supposed to apologize to someone..” she said with a sigh.

 _Shutup and leave me alone. This is my paperwork, not yours,_ he thought gruffly.

“But it's really entertaining. Let's see.. 'I want you to understand I was merely trying to (vent my frustrations)'. Well, at least that part is sincere sounding. 'Though I can see now that it may appear that I was (being “violent”). Please accept my (frankly unnecessary) apology'. Kylo..” she sounded exasperated. “How do you not know how to apologize properly? I've met your mother, I know she taught you better than that!”

At that last bit, he broke his pen in half, his vision turning red.

“Sorry, sorry. I know, touchy subject.” She sighed softly. She scanned the page, continuing. “'Moving forward, I will attempt to (not give a shit about your feelings)'? Seriously, Kylo? 'That said, I would very much appreciate it if you (stopped fucking telling me what to do, asshole!)'. Well, at least you used the comma properly.. 'Sincerely, your (cause of death if you're not careful).'"

She paused for what felt like centuries. "Kylo. This is terrible. And completely unbelievable. What's the point of a formal, filed apology if it obviously isn't honest?” She took a deep breath and hesitated a moment, then asked, “Would you like me to help you fill it out better..?”

His vision started to go red again. _No I don't want your help! I don't_ need _your help to fill out paperwork!_

She snorted. “I highly disagree. Look here, you've used 'it was my evil twin' as an excuse! You don't even _have_ any siblings. You can't put down that you feel 'blameless'. If you wrecked a bunch of Hux's shit, you are, in fact, full of blame! And you definitely are _not_ supposed to call people 'fucking ginger space nazis'! Force, Kylo, BB8 could have written a better apology, and he doesn't have hands to write with!”

The sound of a lightsaber igniting was disturbingly loud in the silence of the room.

Kylo Ren, Master of the Knights of Ren, ended up having to fill out two Form A-001's that day.

 


End file.
